Imagine a world where you, intrepid UCSF student or postdoc, know all the skillful secrets to finding an fantastic mentor and being an amazing mentor! We can help! Join us in our five mentoring quests in January and epic adventure where you'll learn everything you need to know about finding and being a mentor and unlocking the secrets of mentorship magic.
Congratulations to our week #5 raffle winner, a nursing student!
YOUR FRESH QUEST FOR THE WEEK
Finish your mentoring journey with MentorQuest #5
Click here to complete our final quest!
...and enter our $50 raffle!
This week, learn the biggest mistake that mentees and mentors make in kicking off their mentoring relationship, how to avoid it, and how the OCPD can help!
Participate and you can enter a raffle for a chance to win a $50 gift card. Uncover the secrets to effective mentorship and kickstart your MentorQuest adventure today!
YOUR FINAL MENTORING LESSON IS BELOW!
Read below for Maz Mentordorf's mentoring wisdom of the week.
- We talk about what to do if you've lost touch with your mentee/ mentor
- Also, we end the with 3 steps to end any mentoring relationship.
Maz Mentordorf has all the answers!
Lesson #1: Assess Yourself: Do you know the 5 stages of every mentoring relationship?
Mentoring relationships can seem complicated and mysterious - but one of the first - and best - secrets to being a mentoring maverick is realizing that there is a 5-stage developmental arc to every mentorship relationship.
That's right! 5 stages that every professional relationship goes through, and it's parallel, but different - for both the mentor and the mentee in the relationship. So to be mentorship savvy, you need to know both sides of the relationship.
Once you understand this, you can assess your knowledge about each stage and improve your level of skillfulness in each stage.
Read a summary of the knowledge and skills you need to know on each side of the mentoring relationship. If you don't feel knowledgeable, stay tuned, as each week we'll share the secrets and etiquette of each stage. By the end of the month, you'll be a mentoring maven!
Mentors and mentees have parallel journeys, but need to learn different skills. Since many UCSF students and postdocs are simultaneously being mentors and being mentored, it is useful to know both sides of this invaluable relationship. Read on below to consider what you already know and what you seek to learn throughout the rest of MentorQuest!
Discover the parallel:
What Mentees need to know their five stages of mentoring relationship
What do you need to know in each of your five stages? You can....
- Identify:
You can describe which of the 10 different types of support you would appreciate receiving and can describe which of the 6 types of mentoring archetypes you would appreciate over the next 6-12 months.
- Connect:
You know at least 3 different opportunities and/or strategies to find potential mentors.
- Establish:
You can articulate and share the "what" (your goals for the relationship) and the "how" (some norms about how/how often you will communicate or meet, what the structure of your meetings will be, and the way in which your mentor expresses and experiences appreciation).
- Maintain:
You know the professional etiquette of how to maintain your professional relationship over time, including how to engage at certain common situations, such as how to engage if you disagree with your mentor, what to do if your mentor isn't meeting your expectations, what to do if your mentoring goals have changed, and what to do if you haven't been in touch in a while or ghosted your mentor.
- End:
You know the appropriate language and approach to close out/end a relationship with your mentor (including summarizing growth, achievements and gratitude), have considered how you wnat to keep in touch with your mentor, and you know how to ask your mentor for that support. (e.g. you can assess if they are able and willing to serve as a strong reference for you, and how they prefer to keep in touch, etc.)
What Mentors need to know their five stages of mentoring relationship
What do you need to know in each of your five stages? You can...
- Identify:
You know why you want to mentor. You can describe both the 6 different archetypes of mentors and the 10 different types of support you could offer as a mentor, and can define which types of support you are actually able and willing to offer.
- Connect:
You know at least 3 different opportunities in your community to mentor someone.
- Establish
You are self aware and know how to articulate your preferences around the "how" of your relationship with your mentee. For example, if you are okay with your mentee not having a specific mentoring goal, and what engagement norms would work for you and your schedule.
- Maintain
You know the professional etiquette to maintain your relationship over time, including how to engage a certain common situations This includes discovering your mentee's strength and growth areas in relation to their goals. how to engage if your mentee isn't meeting your expectations, and an awareness of all of the UCSF resources and support available to support your mentee. - End
You know how to end a relationship (including summarizing growth, achievements and appreciation), have considered what you are willing to offer your mentee once your mentoring relationship has ended and have articulated that to your mentee. (e.g. you are/are not willing to serve as a reference, are/are not willing to make your professional contacts available to them, etc.)
...and now you have unlocked the first of the five secrets to successful mentoring relationships! Come back next week to continue your journey to becoming a mentoring wizard!
Click here to assess yourself and complete your 1st quest!
Lesson #2: Identify Your Reasons for Finding or Being a Mentor.
Welcome to week 2: ‘identifying’ week. This week it’s all about identifying your goals and the types of mentors that students and postdocs often need. To do this, you just need to ask yourself 3 questions: What, Who and Which Types.
Q1: What are your goals or challenges over the next 6-12 months?
Think ahead to your next year. Can you summarize 1-2 major challenges you are facing, or 1-2 goals you want to reach in 1-2 sentances? (Why consider this? Because your challenge/goal is often the basis for the mentoring relationship, and shape what types of mentors you need.)
- Finish this sentence: “In the next 6-12 months, my major challenges/goals are to_________________________"
Things we've heard from students and postdocs:
- In the next 6-12 months, one of my major challenges/goals is to...
- "use my time wisely! I'm the first in my family to attend dentistry school. It would be great to find someone to talk to about how to make the most of my time here to position myself for residency."
- "get advice. I need some help in navigating some interpersonal problems I'm having with others in the lab."
- "get some more experience.....I would love to find someone to complete a research project with that focuses on maternal child health."
- "find out about the job market in Chicago."
- get some support. I'm leaving UCSF next year, and it would be great to talk someone who is part of a dual career couple on the academic market (PhDs) /someone completing couples' match about their experience. (medicine)
- "start exploring postdoc opportunities in biotech."
- "figure out how to do some preliminary research on clinics I might want to work at in the bay area if I don't get the job from my preceptorship."
What if you are or want to be a mentor?
Your goal, when thinking about goals, isn't just about helping your mentee develop goals that you'll work on during your relationship, but to be clear about your goals for being a mentor. Mentoring is hard work, and the service of mentorship optimally would feel fulfilling to you.
How can you increase the chances of finding the mentoring experience to be rewarding and prevent burnout? by answering the next two questions, and being clear about Who you want to be as a mentor and Which Types ofmentoring support you are willing and able to offer (as well as what you aren't)! Read on!
Q2: Who do you need in your circle of support?
There are 6 archetypes of mentors that every person could benefit from in their community. Let’s start by having you read through them and identify who is already present and who is missing in your circle:
-
Ask yourself: "Which archetypes of mentors are already in my circle, and who am I missing?"
- The Field Support: People who are content experts and help you learn the knowledge and skills required to develop in your clinical or scientific discipline.
- The Career Support: People who offer guidance on how to position yourself to pursue and succeed in a particular career path.
- The Guide: People who show you the ropes or give you advice to navigate any new, complex or fraught setting or situation.
- The Inspiration: This is support from someone who has a specific skill or quality you admire, or wish to develop in yourself. When you are around them, you are energized and inspired.
- The Friend/Family: People who might know your field/career path, but they are safe; they definitely know and appreciate you, your strengths and weaknesses, and see the best in you.
- The Sponsor: This person is specifically dedicated to your advancement. They advocate for you, make introductions and advise you on how to position yourself.
What if you are or want to be a mentor?
Your self discovery over 'identifying' week is appreciating how important it is to be clear about the mentoring roles you are and are not able and willing to offer, and to be able to set clear boundaries, and support the person in finding additional mentors so their circile of support collectively offers all the support they need.
For example:
- Many students and postdocs feel more comfortable offering Field Support Mentoring or serving as a Guide Mentor, rather than serving as a career mentor.
Read over the 6 archetypes, and consider which roles you are more comfortable offering over the next 6-12 months.
Q3. Which types of support would you appreciate from that mentor?
Based on your goals, you can do the final step: Clarify what type of help you might need. There are up to ten benefits that a mentor could offer you (very few mentors have the time and skills to offer all ten – it’s another reason why we all need multiple mentors).
- Ask yourself: "Which benefits do my mentors currently offer me, and which would I appreciate?"
-
1. Time and attention
2. Emotional support
3. Role modeling/ inspiration
4. Advice, direction
5. Skill development6. Access to resources
7. Access to opportunities
8. Access to their network
9. References/recommendations
10. Protection
-
What if you are or want to be a mentor?
Once again, the goal during 'identifying' week is appreciating that few mentors have the time and ability to offer all ten forms of support. But what do you do if your mentee seems to need something that you cannot offer? One of the most supportive things you can do after validating the person's perspective and experience referring/helping them connect with the most appropriate support system.
For example, if your mentee....
- is questioning their career options or choices, you could refer them to a 1:1 career counseling appointment in the Office of Career and Professional Development.
- would benefit from some emotional support, you could suggest the psychological services of Student Mental Health and Wellbeing (students) or the Faculty/Staff Assistance Program (postdocs).
- If they are trying to figure out how to navigate a challenging professional relationship, you might reocmmend the Office of the Ombuds for confidential conflict coaching.
The point is, you don't have to play every role or offer every type of support because you have stepped into a mentoring role. That path leads to burnout. You can share additional resources, and even offer to do a little digging on their behalf to find out more about what these resources offer. Check out these resources to learn more about the support systems we mentioned:
Finally - Put the pieces together.
Once you know your current goals, that the support you need, and who you already have in your circle, you can start to triangulate on who and what type of support you are looking for. Read some examples that students/postdocs have articulated below.
For example, you might be...
- in your first year at UCSF, and appreciate a Guide Mentor, to ask for advice and direction on how to navigate things.
- having some trouble with figuring out how to calculate insulin levels or learn a new technique, and want a Field Mentor to help you develop this skill.
- in your latter half of your time at UCSF, and are beginning to think in earnest about career options, so you might want to advice from a Career Mentor on how to position yourself for a biotech
- feeling a little stressed and would appreciate some emotional support from a Friend Mentor just to talk to might help you rebalance and put things in perspective.
- part of a dual career couple going on the academic market, or couples’ match next year, and want to talk to other folks who are part of a dual career couple to serve as both Career Mentors before you get the position and Guide Mentors when you succeed. They would be touchstones to role model and inspire you about how to make it work.
- a last stage graduate student looking for a postdoc with a PI who will serve as a Sponsor and help you use your postdoc to position you for an tenure track position at an R1 institution, as well as give you access to their resources, opportunities, their network, and will offer you protection and references/letters of recommendation.
With this, you now are ready for the next step – how, and where, do you find these people? Tune in next week!
Click here to complete the 2nd Quest/enter our $50 rafflE!
Lesson #3: Connect With Potential Mentors/Mentees.
Your Lesson of the Week
Check out a list of mentoring opportunities at UCSF for students and postdocs
Now that you why you want a mentor, how do you find one? You have one of two paths: structured and 'find-your-own' mentoring opportunities.
Why would I choose a structured opportunity?
Structured mentorship opportunity is a mentorship program such as the First generation mentorship program or the LGBTQ mentorship program. These types of programs identify and pair you with a mentor as well as offer training and coaching throughout the mentorship experience.
- Pros: Each person is aware of their obligations in the mentoring relationship, as they are set by the program; you do not have to find your mentor/mentee, as they have been vetted by the program; you have structured support in each stage of the mentoring relationship.
- Cons: Limited choice of mentor/mentee; the program expectations may be more than you are willing/able to offer.
Why would I choose 'Find-My-Own' mentoring opportunity?
Finding your own mentor, by attending networking events, conducting informational interviews, or checking out LinkedIn or UCSFconnect (which allows you to search the UCSF community, including alumni, by keyboards and factors - including those that specific have clicked the 'open to mentorship' button to find your own mentor.)
- Pros: Flexibility and autonomy - you can set your own expectations and boundaries for the mentoring relationship, and you can find a mentor or mentee that closely meets your identity, values or career goal preferences.
- Cons: You do the work of managing every step of the relationship. You might feel you’re on your if your mentoring relationship runs into trouble (But you wouldn’t be, because you could schedule a 1:1 counseling appointment in the OCPD for support!)
What do I do next if…?
- I want a structured mentoring opportunity? That's great! Have a look at some of the mentoring opportunities that are available on campus. Also check out your professional association to see if they have any structured mentoring programs.
- I want to find my own mentor? Also great! We encourage you to start with the UCSFconnect to find to search for individuals who are open to talking about their career path and or open to mentorship.
If I'm going it alone, do I just ask someone to be my mentor?
Usually, no. The professional etiquette that seems to work best for both parties if you don't start off with a "Will you be my mentor" conversation. Your worst case scenario is if you ask someone to be you be my mentor, they say yes, and then as you get to know them you realize that you have different approaches or they actually aren't going to be as helpful as you we had hoped. Instead start with a low-key "small ask" strategy – for some advice or an informational interview to get to know the person and see if you actually like to work with them.
- What are examples of 'small asks'? You can ask a potential Career Mentor if you can have 30 minutes of their time to ask them about their career path, which is also known as asking for an informatonal interview. You could ask a potentia Field Mentor if they could take 30 minutes to explain something to you, or give you feedback on a project you are thinking of, or advice based on their experience regarding a situation you are facing. That contained interaction will give you insight as to whether the person would be a god mentor.
- Slide into mentorship with the 'drop-by-drop' method: After that first contained interaction, you can say "thank you" and ask to keep in touch. And then let them follow and be a part of your adventure. Update them on your journey every time something they said or suggested was beneficial to you. That will signal that the time and energy they invested in speaking with you was not wasted. If they ask you to do something or suggest you do something, do it and let them know how it turned out. Their ask/suggestion mean you will have a reason to reach out again and perhaps ask for something else.
These "drop-by-drop' relationship-strengthening activities can lead into mentorship, without you ever having to specifically use the words, "Will you be my mentor.' - How do I find out if someone is open to mentoring? As we mentioned before, tools like UCSF Connect ask mentors to specifically state their willingness to mentor. However, another way to find out is to ask people about what roles mentors have played in their own career and how they found their own mentors. You can ask this at networking events and in informational interviews. Their answers will give insight about how to skillfully approach them.
- How can I get more help in finding a mentor? If you have any questions about finding a mentor, you can schedule an appointment with the OCPD for one-on-one career counseling to develop your own strategy.
If you want more help on understanding how to structure an informational interview we have a great guide about how you structure informational interviews and sample questions.
What if someone asks me to BE their mentor?
We encourage you to give yourself a little space before answering the question. If someone asked to be your mentor, it might be helpful to say something:
“Why don't we schedule coffee /time to talk so I can hear a little bit more about your goals and what type of mentoring support you'd need. I can then think about whether or not I have the time and the expertise to meet your needs. If I don't, I'll let you know and we perhaps help you brainstorm other ways to find someone.”
Then have the conversation and give yourself a week to think about it. And then you can let them know your decision.
- If it's yes, you can say: “Obi Wan, it was great talking to you last week. Based on your goals and my schedule, I'd be happy to be your mentor for the next quarter slash for this project. Why don't we set up a time to talk in more detail.”
- If it's no, you could say: “Yoda, it was great talking to you last week. But based on your needs, i don't feel I have the bandwidth to commit to the support I think you/your project might need right now. So, I need to turn down your request to mentor you/mentor you on this project.”
In the end mentor ship only works if it works for both the mentor and the mentee so be honest with yourself and with them about what you are able and willing to offer.
Help in finding a mentor or have questions about being a mentor? Click here to schedule an appointment with the OCPD and talk to a counselor. We can help!
Click here to complete our 2-question quest and enter our $50 raffle!
Lesson #4: Establish & Maintain Your Mentoring Relationship.
Click here to complete your 2 minute quest!
Your Lesson for the week
It's week four, and time to talk about establishing and maintaining your relationship!
What does it mean to 'establish a relationship'?
A mentor and mentee have successfully established a relationship when they have each exchanged information about goals for the mentoring relationship and negotiated and achieved clarity regarding the ground rules of the relationship, including the structure, interaction expectations, and personal preferences.
What 3 things to do students and postdocs need to do to ‘establish a relationship’?
Essentially, your conversations need to clarify three touchstones during : why, what and how.
1. Why were you seeking a mentor/to mentor?
- If you’re a mentee, this is about sharing your overall goals, which will clarify to your mentor what your benchmark for success.
- If you’re a mentor, sharing your reasons for agreeing to serve as a mentor at this time will help your mentee undersand your motivation and get some clarity on what is the basis of your relationship. For example, are you agreement to mentor because you had fantastic mentorship, or becaue you wished you had? Does mentorship align with your values? D do you is this a part of your sense of service? Every mentor has unique reasons for choosing to mentor but being open about your reasons of choosing to mentor can strengthen your relationship and give and help your mentee understand your motivations.
2. What do you want from your mentor/mentee?
- If you're a mentee in the relationship, you can get what you need by discussing, requesting and negotiating. For example, you may want your mentor to work with you on a specific project or task, primarily be willing to help you or to primarily give you advice to navigate a challenging relationship or situation that is unfolding over the next 3-6 months, or to write you a strong letter of recommendation. As we mentioned in week two: mentors can offer one of ten benefits, and you will need to have 3-5 conversations over the first 10% of your relationship to clarify, ask and achieve agreement about what you want from them. You might explore what types of mentorship they are willing to offer by saying, "Could you share what topic or situations you have previously mentored other students/postdocs about?"
- If you're a mentor, you probably have a service mindset, and want to support your mentee, however they show up. But it's okay if you have expectations for your mentee, such as the expectation that they identify a goal for you to work on together if that's what you prefer, or maintain a certain level of confidentiality if you share something from your own experience to give examples about how to navigate a particular situation. You can share your overall expectations by saying, "I'd like to share a little bit about what I've appreciated from previous mentees," or "Here are some of the topics I have worked with mentees on and would feel comfortable working on together."
3. How do you want to interact with your mentor/mentee?
The 'how' are the ground rules and engagement preferences that mark the scope and boundaries of your professional relationship. Both the mentor and the mentee need to consider the following:
- How frequently will you meet?
- How do you prefer for your meetings to be structured? (e.g. is the mentee required to send an agenda beforehand, or bring a specific topic to discuss, or will your conversations be more organic?)
- Which mediums and platforms will you use to communicate? (in-person meetings, virtual meetings, emails phone calls, texts, slack, etc.). How frequently is it okay to commicate? What are expectations around the response time?
- What are either party's boundaries (e.g., perhaps the mentor prefers not to share about their personal life, or it's not okay to cancel meetings more than once a quarter. Perhaps the mentee prefers to meet on zoom, etc.)
- What level of confidentiality is expected.
- How does each person experience appreciation?
- How long will your mentoring relationship last?
What's the biggest mistake that mentors and mentees make?
Not having multiple conversations about how each person expects the relationship to function, and expectations from the other person. Both mentors and mentees tend to skip over these conversations all together, only to experiene frustration about unmet - and unspoken - expectations.
- Why are mentees reluctant to have these conversations?
Mentees are frequently reluctant to have these conversations out of deference, expecting the mentor to clarify their expectations, or because they don't want to appear as if they don't know how mentoring relationships work. - Why are mentor reluctant to have these conversations?
Mentors are often reluctant to have these conversations, because they want to center the mentee in the relationship, rather than impose their own version of a mentoring relationship. But functional relationships require communication and calibration, and a skillful way to uncover these expectations is to ask about previous experience.
How does clarifying the why, what and how help both mentors and mentees maintain the relationship?
Maintaining the relationship involves working together with a common understanding of the purpose of the relationship, each person refining their understanding of what the other person's preferences, and intentionally demonstrating the other person's definition of respect. If you spend the first 10% of your relationship talking about your why, what and how, your investment will pay off in latter 90%, as you will have negotiated the unique parameters of your working relationship.
What do mentees and mentors aim for in maintaining a relationship?
As your working relationship evolves, each person aims has particular aims :
- the mentee aims to engage within those stated expectations and lets their mentor follow their jouney. This includes sharing progress and expresses appreciation every time their mentor's actions and advice helps them learn, grow or progress.
- the mentor aims to help the mentee navigate situations and challenges towards their goals, encourages their resiliency and ability to problem solve, shares resources, reframes every failure as a lesson designed to be learned, and celebrates that every bit of progress and development.
So, invest the time in discussing your goals, and getting to know the expectations of your mentor/mentee in the relationship. Want help in strategizing or a mock session to practice having these conversations? The OCPD can help! Click here to schedule an zoom counseling appointment with an OCPD career counselor!
Next week: Strategies if your mentoring relationship runs into turbulence, and how to end your relationship skillfully.
Lesson #5: Maintain & End Your Mentoring Relationship.
Click here to complete our 2-question quest and enter our $50 raffle!
We end our journey with week five: how to maintain and end a mentoring relationship skillfully.
Last week we talked about how frequently you should be in touch. The concept was let people follow your journey, and the benchmark was to 1) reach out with an update and/or an expression of appreciation every time something the person advised on did helped you, 2) touch base around any calendar milestone (happy new year!) or 3) 3-6 months.
Maintaining the relationship
As a Mentee: How do you get back on track if you ghosted someone?
What if you’ve let your communications lapse several months or year? The relationship has gone very cold – is there any way to reinvigorate it?
Yes!
Move into option 2 – a calendar milestone, to reactivate with an email message. In this case you're not asking for anything, you're just going to send a message of thanks, and if they respond, you can move ahead with asking for advice, to meet, etc.
Check out some variations of messages that people have sent below.
Dear Dr. Yoda,
I hope you're well. You may not recollect, but we met at the ABCDE conference 3 years ago, when I was in my final year of my PhD. You gave some excellent advice at that time about crtiteria to look for and questions to ask when selecting a postdoc. Thanks to your advice, I ultimately decided to accept a postdoc at Genetech; a decision made all the more clear by your suggestions.
As we start the new year, I wanted to reach out and say how much I appreciated the time you took to give me guidance, and let you know that if I can ever return the favor, please don’t hesitate to reach out. This is my email, and I am also at Linkedin.com/LSkywalker.
Warm regards, Leia
Dear Obi-wan, (Note: if you were on a first name basis, use their first name.)
Hope you’re well. My apologies for losing touch, since lasy year. To remind you – I am studying medicine at UCSF. I began my third year of medical school last month and have been reaching out to all of the clincians who advised me on this journey to share an update and express my appreciation.
Since we last spoke, I made the decision to pursue psychiatriy. My decision is based on seveal of the reasons you mentioned for pursuing that specialty: the ability to build relationships with patients, the ability to specialise within the field (I'm considering ADHD in pediatric populations right now), and a high level of autonomy. I am very excited about what comes next, and just wanted to you know how grateful I am that we spoke earlier.
Sincerely, Lando
One final tip when sending the email is to reference a reminder - for example, link to your linkedin profile or attach it to your last email - even if it was several years ago - so they can reread your exchange.
As a Mentor: How do you get back on track if you've been ghosted.
Your mentee may grow busy, let your correspondence lapse, and feel so embarrassed they may not know how to overcome what they think is a faux pas. You may feel that you are highly approachable, and can't imagine that your mentee would have any concerns, but the mentee usually feels the power differential more than a mentor. The best way you can help is to 'leave the door open'. You have two goals: signal understanding and light up the way back to you.
You will also look for the mentee's milestones or general milestones.
Dear Luke,
I realize that you probably just completed your quarter, and thought I would reach out and check in. Hope you're doing well, and if you want to touch base over the summer and catch up, just let me know.
Be well,
Ashoka
Padme,
Happy new year! I know we haven't communicated lately, and I'm just checking in on you, as I know that the final year of a postdoc can be intense. If you'd like to check in or need help with anything, I have time in the coming weeks. (My office hours are between 3pm-5pm on Wednesdays)
Take care,
Dr. Solo
How often does one reach out, before 'giving up'?
Because folks are busy, we suggest sending out 2-3 'bids' to connection. People may not respond to the first message. If they don't respond by the 2-3 time, it's probably not you. Just let the relationship hiberate, and be open to reconnecting in the future.
Ending the relationship
How do mentors and mentees intentionally end a relationship?
A more accurate definition is that you’re ending this stage or cycle of your mentoring relationship. Your present cycle could end for one of 3 reasons: the mentee achieved their goal. 2) the mentee's goal changed or 3) something changed for either the mentor or mentee, that relationship no longer works. (e.g., an illness, a life change, etc.)
In all cases, for both parties, the 3 benchmarks to close our a relationship include:
1. Saying thank you
2. Specifically telling them what you appreciated about your time together.
3. Signaling how you’d like to keep in touch.
For example:
In person:
Mentee: “I know this is our last meeting, and I just wanted to say thank you. Not only for helping my achieve my goal of graduating from nursing school. But all of the great advice and support you’ve given me over these 3 years. I particularly appreciated all the times you sent encouraging text during my finals. I am so grateful to have met you. Even though I’m moving to southern California, I still really hope we can stay in touch.”
Mentor: “I have also enjoyed our time together and see you grow. I am so thrilled that I could share advice that you found helpful. It was really rewarding. I would love to keep in touch."
Via email:
Mentee: Dear Dr. Rey, As I begin my job as a medical science liaison, I just want to thank you for everything. Although when we met I thought I would pursue community pharmacy, you really modeled for me how important it is to think about fit and values in chooising a career path. I am so grateful for you helping my find my way. I will connect with you via Linkedin, and if I can ever be of service to you, please do not hesitate to reach out. Warmly, Darth
Mentor: Dear Darth, I'm so glad to hear that you have found your way. It's great to hear that I was able to help. I'll look for your invitation on Linkedin. Regards, Dr. Rey.
But what if my mentor gave un-usable advice/my mentee was difficult?
Even if you feel your mentor gave you subpar support, you can still say ‘thank you for all of your time and advice/thank you for taking the time. I appreciate it." If you feel your mentee was difficult, you can still say "I wish you well." You never know about relationships, so unless the relationship was toxic, we encourage both mentors and mentees to try to maintain some type of connection. One reasons to keep a profile on LinkedIn or Doximity (for MDs), is precisely because you can both keep in touch but keep your distance.
How often do we keep in touch if they aren't in an active mentoring relationship?
Once again, you revert to milestones, or 1-2 a year, if you see something that would interest them or something they said or did helps you.
Click here to complete our 2-question quest and enter our $50 raffle!
Key Mentoring Resources
- Attend National Mentoring Month at UCSF events
- Learn more about National Mentoring Month
- Mentorship Programs at UCSF
- Explore our Inclusive Research Mentor program
- See how to build your community of support with UCSF Connect, the official networking platform for the UCSF community
- Read How do I ask someone to be my mentor? and How do I build a relationship with my mentor?
Important Mentoring Month Dates to Remember and Celebrate
January 9 - I am a Mentor Day
January 15 - Dr. Martin Luther King Day of Service
January 17 - International Mentoring Day
January 25 - Thank your Mentor Day
